Flash A Smile
by FollowTheReaper01
Summary: For such a happy person Barry seems to understand the worst kind of pain. (Chapter 5 Now Updated!)
1. Flash A Smile

**(Trigger Warning: language, depression, suicide attempt, self-harm and smoking.)**

**Central City, 2006**

Barry sat on the bathroom floor with the shower on and his Mp3 player turned to the maximum volume.

He stared hopelessly at the fixtures of the bathroom walls.

A visit to Iron Heights prison had sent the teenager keeling over the edge.

He began hacking at his wrists with a razor blade.

Welts appeared on his arms as it slowly began to bleed and swell.

It got a little manic.

Barry felt like clawing out something inside of him.

How this helped he didn't know.

The guilt had started to weigh on him.

The guilt of him being the reason his dad was in prison.

Being trapped on an endless train to nowheresville while his mother's killer got away.

He made another cut.

Was her killer out there out there now?

Living it up while his family suffered?

A wave of anger shot through him to the point his arms were now completely mutilated.

_It hurt_.

He knew it would hurt but Barry had been told this pain was suppose to feel good.

That it would make things better.

_It didn't_.

It just added to the pain.

Barry sniffled and leaned back into the confines of his large black hoodie.

He changed a song.

Iris knocking made him jump 12 feet out of skin.

"_Barry_? _Hurry up, you've been in there for an hour!_"

The teenager lept to his feet, "Just a second!"

He stripped as fast as lightening.

Barry jumped in the shower not expecting the sting.

When hot water hit his skin he let out an agonized silent scream.

Another knock.

"_Barry?"_

He cradled his arm close to chest then hesitantly moved it out back under the water.

His pain levels spiked again.

Barry dropped to his knee's, water running down his face and blinding him.

Drops of blood oozed down the drain.

The blood was the best part.

It was just so enticing.

Barry totally got it if this was the reason people did it.

The thought of him being just another stupid teen cliche made Barry spit curse words.

_Who cared?_

Barry didn't give a fuck what the world thought about him.

The pain was just crashing down on him so hard he couldn't breath.

He wanted to cry until his eyes bled.

Scream until his voice died.

Maybe if he did cut a little deeper he would be able to see his mom.

"_Barry? Are you okay?"_ Joe asked.

Barry tried to answer in the lightest tone possible, "Yeah, I'm okay."

The detective responded in a parenting manner, "Well you better get your butt out of the shower now, Iris needs to get ready for work."

"...Okay Joe."

Barry hissed as he reached to twist the knob.

The water vanished.

He could only thank God it was winter or else there would have been no way to hide his self-mutilation.

The physical pain didn't make him feel better.

It just made him feel worse.

Yet another emotional weight to carry.

Barry made sure there wasn't any lingering blood anywhere and dried off.

Gingerly putting back on the hoodie and opening the door.

Iris wasn't there.

Barry passed her room and said, "Iris! Shower's free."

"Thank God!" The eccentric girl slapped a magazine down on her bed and walked past him. "What were you, living in there?"

Barry gave a half-hearted smile.

He rubbed his eye.

His cuts weren't that deep did it even count?

_Was this even happening?_

Barry couldn't be sure of anything but the lingering stings and the strong chance Joe might find out.

It made him terrified beyond belief and multiple scenarios began to wrack up in his brain until Barry was in a downright panic.

_How fast would they heal?_

_Would the swelling ever go down?_

_Would he do it again?_

Barry grabbed his Mp3 and put it on repeat.

A sad, musical assamble filled his ears.

Barry stared out his window.

No longer tempted to smash it as he was earlier.

Cutting did nothing for him.

Barry had had no momentarily relief.

How could he get that?

Could it be found in Iris?

In their friendship and his secret adoration?

He absently picked at his baggy sleeve and didn't see Joe come in.

"Hey Barry...you wanna go grab a slice and watch the Superbowl later?"

The boy nodded, "Sure. I can't promise I won't eat the whole box."

"Oh I know you will. That's why I'm getting you and Iris your own."

Barry chuckled.

He consciously pulled his arm in closer as he talked with his surrogate father.

_Please don't notice please don't notice._

He didn't.

The police detective left in the same mood he came in with.

_Happy_.

And completely unaware.

His heart pounded.

_He_ could pretend to be happy couldn't he?

Barry never had to pretend around Iris.

He was always happy with her.

But why did Barry feel like breaking down at the same time?

_Why couldn't he be happy?_

For real.

And not pretend?

Why couldn't he seem to get out of this depression?

Barry exhaled, and adjusted his headphones.

He never had this much baggage to deal with since he was 11 and his mom was murdered.

_His mom was murdered his mom was murdered._

How many fucking kids could honestly say that about themselves?

It didn't feel like something Barry could deal with.

It never did.

Tears fell down his face and his chin trembled.

Then he climbed out his window and took off for the Central City Park.

It was right around the corner.

Barry wrapped his coat tighter around him so the frosty chill couldn't get to him.

He found his stash of cigarettes and lit one up, pale hands shaking.

He inhaled the calming smoke with gusto.

Barry closed his eyes and finally felt at ease.

He smoked and walked around until it grew dark.

He knew Joe would be looking for him.

Barry ran back to the house awaiting the shake down he was about to get.

(Hopefully he would be able to get the smell off him before that happened.)

He climbed back in his window and closed it gently, hissing as his injured wrists moved.

"You're late."

The 16 year old science prodigy cringed, "Yeah sorry about that Joe."

"You take a smoke?"

Barry's eyes widened.

Joe leaned back on the bed casually, "Relax. You honestly didn't expect me to find out? Barry, I'm a police detective and smelling like a chimney is your very own personal axe colon."

"Shit," he mumbled under his breath. Then, "I'm sorry Joe."

"I bet your sorry. Now...what are we going to do about this?"

Silence.

"I don't know."

"How about you come with me on every smoking related crime scene?" Joe offered.

Barry gulped, "They have those?"

"Oh you bet. Quiet a few in fact."

..."Promise you won't tell Iris?"

"I think she already knows."

The lanky boy nodded, never meeting his gaze.

..."Barry what's going on? And don't deny it."

"..._Nothing_," he finally whispered. "Nothing at all."

**Next Time...**

**"How did that not save her?!"**

**"I've had it up to **here** with accusations that I'm crazy! THAT I DIDN'T SEE WHAT I SAW THAT NIGHT!"**

**"YOU SAW YOUR FATHER BARRY! NOT A MASKED MAN IN A YELLOW LIGHT, NOT THE TOOTH FAIRY: BUT HENRY ALLEN!"**

**"You better run and hide...because I'm coming for you."**


	2. You Can Run But You Can't Hide

**Flash A Smile-You Can Run But You Can't Hide**

**Central City (Still 2006...)**

Lightening shook the entire West household.

Rain splattered against the windowsills.

Midnight wind blew in howls as thunder rumbled.

A light flashed brightly as the Speed Force opened up.

Barry frowned as he tossed and turned in his sleep.

His breaths came out quick and ragged.

"_No_," his head whipped to the side. "No..._mom_."

_16 year old Barry ran through his old house, stumbling at the bottom of the stairs._

_It was storming._

_His mom was screaming._

_Barry eyes widened as he saw the scene take place before him..._again_._

_Colors danced around as if they were locked in a life or death battle._

_"NO!" He screamed, rushing forwards._

_Yellow energy knocked him in the chin, sending him flip side into the wall._

_Nora tried to crawl over to him, "Barry!"_

_"MOM!"_

_He quickly looked around for something to help stop whatever was happening._

_The red streak got knocked into a mirror._

_It shattered._

_The boy's breath quickened, the other came at them with a nightmarish face._

_Barry stood to his feet, and grabbed his mother, holding her tight._

_His eyes shut tight._

_The noise died down._

_"Pathetic..."_

_Barry's heart stopped dead._

_"You thought we could actually save her."_

_He...He knew that voice._

_His eyes opened._

_Everything was pitch black around him._

_The house was gone._

_The yellow masked man was gone._

_All that stood in front of him was himself._

_A slightly older him in a red suit._

_Barry stared back in terror._

_"Why don't you give up?" A disgusted sneer, "We'd be better off dead."_

_The teen's entire frame trembled, "Why...who?"_

_The other Barry's eyebrows raised, "Oh I'm_ you_, in case you haven't figured it out...I'm guessing probably not."_

_"Our mom...how did that not save her?!"_

_The other guy looked smug, "You mean, "how did_ you_ not save her. I'm just a voice inside your head."_

_Barry felt himself getting pretty pissed at...whoever._

_The guy was a dick, voice or not._

_"I'm not crazy," he defended testily._

_"Oh I forgot...your Central City's very own special head case."_

_Barry 1 tried to throw a punch at Barry 2._

_Who promptly disappeared and materialized behind him, "What did I say? _Pathetic_. You'll have to do better than that, to defeat _The Flash_."_

The who?

_"You're worthless! You're so sad you cut yourself...you can't tell Iris you love her, you disappoint Joe," he taunted. "You can't even get your dad out of prison."_

_The teen glowered daggers up at him, a strange cliche light coming from somewhere, "You're forgetting something: _You're me_. I screw up. You screw up."_

_Barry 2 huffed, tickled pink, "You're smarter than I thought...but not fast enough. Why didn't you stop her killer from stabbing a knife through her chest?"_

_Barry 1 was having a full-blown anxiety attack, "I-I-I-I-I," can't breath. "I was taken...down the street. I tried-"_

_"TRYING WASN'T ENOUGH!" The man screamed. "You know what?...I think you killed Nora Allen._ You_ caused the WHOLE THING. Tell me_...Barry?_ Why aren't_ you_ dead?!"_

_"STOP! STOP!" Barry sobbed. _

_Tears falling down his cheeks like rain._

_There was tense silence as he sniffed and shuttered._

_Then, "...Why do you hate me?"_

_No answer._

_Just a smirk._

_"WHY?!" Barry screamed, slamming a hand down on the floor._

_Barry 2 stared back,_ "...I am you."

The teen gasped for air and shot up in bed, tangled in the sheets.

Confusion.

Zero oxygen.

"Barry! Barry! You're okay son!"

"...Y-you're n-not my d-dad," his sleep-addled brain registered.

Joe looked slightly pained at his response.

The boy was shaking like a leaf.

Joe hugged him in a great big, warm embrace.

"...You're safe here Barry. No ones going to hurt you."

...oh boy was he wrong.

Really, really wrong.

Like this entire situation.

It was also nauseating.

Barry's head started shaking, pulling away.

He couldn't breath.

His lungs kept restricting.

The police detective stood immediately and began shuffling through drawers, "Let me try and find your medication."

The teen frowned, staring at his now opened window, rain had been coming through, "Did...Did you open my window?"

"No," Joe handed him a glass of water and a red pill, "I thought you opened it."

Barry didn't answer, just gulping it down.

"Thanks."

Joe put the glass the bedside table and sat down next to him,

"Okay, now...you mind telling me what this whole thing was about?"

"...my nightmare?"

"It was about your mom, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I'm trying to put it behind me. I've just had a rough week," Barry told him.

Joe looked appalled, "YOU WANT TO PUT WHAT BEHIND WHAT?"

"_Dad?_ Barry? What's going on?" Iris appeared in the door way, squinting at the pair sluggishly.

"None of your business young lady, now scoot. You both have school in the morning."

Iris nodded, still confused.

Before she could leave, Joe asked her, "Did we wake your brother and his wife?"

"No," she answered. "Their still asleep. So is the baby."

Joe nodded, "Alright, now go back to bed, I'll check on him after I'm done with Barry."

"Okay...night dad."

"Night."

Silence filled the air.

Only a drizzle was left remaining after the storm.

Joe seemed to be brimming with some type of anger.

It made Barry slink down under his covers, trying to hide.

He would have flipped at the possibility of Joe having seen his newly collected pink, mangled scars but he already knew what this was about.

"Young man," his voice shook dangerously, "When has anyone EVER!" (Barry jumped.) "-Made the impression they wanted you to forget Nora Allen?!"

Was he suppose to answer?

He tried to win back brownie points using honesty, "It's the impression I got from everyone. Why else send me to psychiatrists all the way from Central City to Gotham?!"

"YOU NEED SOME HELP HEALING BARRY!"

"THERE'S NOTHING "WRONG WITH ME!"

"YOU SAW YOUR MOTHER GET MURDERED OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!" Joe's eyes were wild, things poured out of his mouth he did not mean.

"_Get out,_" the teen hissed.

"Barry-"

"NO!" He screamed, tears pouring down his face. "I've had it up to _here_ with accusations that I'm crazy! THAT I DIDN'T SEE WHAT I SAW THAT NIGHT!"

"YOU SAW YOUR FATHER BARRY! NOT A MASKED MAN IN A YELLOW LIGHT, NOT THE TOOTH FAIRY: BUT HENRY ALLEN!"

"**GET THE FUCK OUT!"**

The door slammed behind the detective.

Wally West began wailing in the next room.

_At least_ someone _understood_.

His mother and Rudy began speaking in hushed tones.

The sixteen year old rubbed his face in frustration and screamed, throwing something breakable against the door frame.

His heart pounded wildly against his chest.

His breaths constricted, the anti-anxiety medication not kicking in yet.

Barry tore through his closet like a -er, _eccentric _person and shoved back clothes and old storage boxes.

_He wasn't crazy he wasn't crazy he_ wasn't..._crazy_.

-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING BELIEVE HIM?

Why didn't Joe _or Iris_ believe what really happened?

He wasn't...he wasn't crazy or...confused or a liar.

Why couldn't they just..._believe?_

Barry stopped when he hit the back wall and clicked the small light bulb on.

He stared at the massive display of newspaper clippings and articles of his parent's case.

Photos taken and strung up of potential suspects.

Any paranormal or related substances to what happened that night went on the wall.

Theories, facts, proof.

He had all of it.

_Or...he would._

Barry smirked.

He was so close.

The key to any unexplained phenomenon like this could be answered in a 400 page length novel by a man of the name Harrison G. Wells.

Science was the key.

Luckily for Barry he understood it.

The teenager had far gone the boarder line of obsession 3 years ago.

If Joe saw this he'd probably have a heart attack.

It was _that_ extensive.

Then again, the stalker photos probably didn't help his case.

In either situations.

Old scribbles of "_Man in Yellow," "Where is he?"_

Followed by a giant "**Who is he?"** in red marker taking up an entire side of the closet wall.

Yeah...he better _pray_ Joe didn't find this.

Barry took out a pen and wrote down the most current event.

Scary hazel-green eyes stared at sketching of The Mysterious Yellow Man.

_'You better run and hide_,' he thought. '_Because I'm coming for you."_

**Next Time...**

**"I'm Francisco Ramon."**

**"Barry. Barry Allen."**


	3. Why We Run

**Author Notes: I want to dedicate this chapter to shatterthoughts. And a special thanks to the guest reviewer Julieta, what you said meant a lot. I'm ****still accepting suggestions. Enjoy XD**

**Flash A Smile-Why We Run**

Cisco Ramon's nimble fingers thrummed at his side.

He was waiting outside of the high school building.

It was late February so temperatures were still freezing.

The 14 year old noticed someone else standing near by.

Probably waiting on the same shrink.

He looked roughly around his age.

Tall, lanky and unproportionate like a Great Dane puppy.

He had brown hair and hazel-green eyes.

Cisco recognized him from his gym class.

Guy had left feet.

But he was in the mix as a nerd and a freak.

Rumor had it he killed his mother a few years back and his dad was doing time in his place.

If that wasn't enough to put a giant target on the back of the teen's head he was also freakishly smart.

Cisco could relate to that last part.

Gary_(?)_ Allen almost looked unapproachable, chain smoking half a pack of _Marlboro Reds_ under the span of a few minutes.

Somebody should really tell the guy it would kill him.

The small Latino cautiously moved forwards, blowing some heat into his hands to make the exchange look casual.

He stood next to him.

Not realizing the exact extent of the high difference.

Awkward silence.

What should he say?

Well now he just felt stupid.

Gary_(?)_ exhaled a cloud of smoke, making the younger boy jump out of skin when he spoke first, "So what are you in for?"

"Huh?" Cisco blinked.

"In for," he repeated.

_Oh._

"My mom thinks I need therapy to deal with all the bullying that's been happening to me."

"Aah," Gary nodded.

Cisco waited a few moments before adding, "...I'm only fourteen, I moved here from Detroit a few months ago."

"Freshman?"

Here we go.

"Senior," he said proudly, although he was masking a flinch. "Hence all the big people in my class available to punch me to smithereens."

Gary-(_seriously_ what_ was his name?_) laughed out right, "Get outta here! You're a senior?"

Cisco sighed inwardly, couldn't a guy be a little smart?

What was so wrong about that?

"Yeah, I get that reaction a lot. You seem pretty smart, shouldn't you have graduated already?"

Smokey's eyes glittered, "I'm only sixteen!"

"Yeah but everybody knows how smart you are. Sixteen_ and_ a senior? Seems pretty lazy to me dude."

That enlisted a guffaw from the other student.

He flicked the cigarette butt onto the sidewalk.

Not very economical...for a science prodigy.

"...I'm Fransico Ramon."

He shook his hand, "Barry. Barry Allen."

_Damn. He had been close_.

Checking the time on his watch, Barry pulled the door open as they walked back into the warm waiting room.

They sat down behind a table full of magazines and crossword puzzles.

It only felt fair to ask, "So what are _you_ in for?"

Cisco studied Barry's reaction.

A tight grimace then a bemused smile, "I started a rumor about Principle Hagan. They found out and thought I needed my head shrunk."

He could spot the lie from a mile away but acted amazed anyway, "That was_ you?"_

Barry nodded.

Man! These silent moments were happening too often.

They watched a little TV as people came and went.

Some crazy lady called Black Canary was going around saving women from sex crimes.

What was with the blue and black costume anyhow?

Cisco wrapped an arm around his still cracked ribs.

The lingering pain a constant reminder of what had happened a few days ago.

Kids in high school didn't take too kindly to people like him.

Central City was worse than the others.

His brother signed him up for martial art classes three weeks ago.

So far it wasn't enough to defend himself.

Cisco waited before asking mischievously, "So what's the real reason?"

"...My foster dad made me."

Okay...shutting up now.

'_Reaching red-line territory there Cisco,'_

His gut said it was serious, no matter how much Barry brushed it off.

Not normal teenage issues.

A door opened and Barry was called in.

He jumped to his feet, "See ya Cisco."

The boy was surprised.

He hadn't said he was called Cisco.

"Yeah..." the door closed, leaving him behind, "See ya."

**Next time...**

**"I've got a lot of apologies to make-"**

**"I'm so sorry."**

**-"I wish there was some way I could say I loved you."**

**"But I can't do this anymore."**

**"-This is it."**

**"We can't report your son missing until 48 hours."**

**"-BARRY!"**

**"This is Gotham City damn it! Who knows what crazy psycho has got him!"**

**"-I think it's time I did everyone a favor and disappeared."**

**"What are you like a miniature superhero?"**

**"-Time to take the leap."**

**"Time to stop being Barry Allen."**


	4. Lookin So Crazy Right Now

**A/N: Took me a while, a few revisions, but you can thank the song "Crazy Love" from Fifty Shades Of Grey for this chapter. Not that I watched it. Just the trailer. Review please :) shatterthoughts this is again, dedicated to you. She's writing the awesome fic "Burger And Fries" by the way. Enjoy!**

**Flash A Smile-Looking So Crazy Right Now**

I've got a lot of apologies to make.

Mostly for what I am about to do.

_I'm so sorry_.

But I can't do this anymore.

I think it's time I did everyone a favor and disappeared.

"Iris...I wish there was some way I could say I loved you," he breathed.

_This was it_.

Time to take the leap.

Time to stop being Barry Allen.

His heart screamed as his toe dipped over the ledge.

**s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s**

Iris was terrified.

Barry had been missing for five hours.

Central High had taken everyone to Gotham for a school field trip.

The old architecture was breath taking.

Especially the run down hospital they passed by behind tall gates.

_Arkham Asylum_.

Barry had been acting quiet and strange on the bus but she thought it was just him being moody after he saw Doctor Hugo Strange.

Whatever he had said to Barry shook him up.

_Badly_.

Iris wanted to punch anyone who so much as looked at her adoptive brother the wrong way.

She hated how her dad made him go to doctors who would just dredge everything up all over again.

"I'm sorry sir, but we can't report your son missing until 48 hours."

Her dad was following a detective around the Gotham City police station.

"This is Gotham City damn it! Who knows what crazy psycho has got him!"

James Gordon stopped and sighed, "Look, I know what you're going through. I really do. My daughter takes off a lot. But at this rate, we'd never find him."

Iris was going nuts.

_Why was no one doing anything to find Barry?_

He could be lost.

He could be tired.

Or afraid.

But she refused to believe he was dead.

Or in the hands of someone like The Joker.

That couldn't happen.

It wasn't a thought she'd entertain.

The other students left a long time ago leaving her, her dad and Cisco to wait for the police to do something.

They filed a report.

Iris wanted to cry.

Cisco looked ready to take on everyone in the entire prescient.

"You're the missing child's guardian, correct?" Detective Gordon asked.

Joe looked ready to strangle him, "_Yes_. Barry. Barry Allen-and he's a teenager from Central City."

"Look, I've already put out an alert for his description. My partner and I'll go looking for him."

"_Thank you._"

"Until then I suggest you and your family rent a nice motel. This could take awhile."

Iris dropped down onto a bench hopelessly.

Cisco sat down next to her.

"...Barry's okay Iris. He has to be."

**s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_**

Barry stared out at Gotham City.

It made sense.

In a demented sort of way.

To die surrounded by fellow misery.

Maybe it would seem normal.

Maybe in a place full of insane people what he was about to do wouldn't seem so strange.

Barry closed his eyes.

Feeling the cold wind cut to his bones.

Wasn't that what everyone wanted?

_Was for him to be crazy?_

Every shrink Barry ever went to said something was wrong.

Dr. Strange just stared at him like a once-in-a-life-time science experiment.

**"You want me to be crazy?"** He screamed to the night sky, **"HERE!"**

Take the leap.

_Just take it..._

His arms extended.

_Just do it you fucking moron!_

Instincts pulled him back.

_No..._

Barry stared down at all the people stories away.

He couldn't back out.

_Not now._

Frustration and anger flooded the teen for his cowardice.

_He wanted to die..._

More than anything.

But something was holding him back.

It would be the end-no mistake.

It wasn't like smoking cigarettes, dragging a blade over his skin or drinking til he was wasted.

It would be Barry Allen's final hour.

No more pain.

No more suffering.

The vengeance he felt would finally be gone.

He was truly torn between life and death.

Barry screamed.

Some people walking by noticed him.

Then continued on.

_Maybe if he turned around..._

What he saw startled the teen so much he flailed backwards.

But not falling.

Adrenalin shot through him.

_What the hell..._

A eight or nine year old boy sat only a few feet away.

But that wasn't the crazy part.

It wasn't the black cape or mask he wore.

But the way he sat on the ledge and looked down without fear.

Like the height didn't bother him at all.

Like nothing scared him.

Not even his own shadow.

"_Who..."_ Barry trembled, his heart fluttering, "Who are you?"

The kid just swung his small legs back and forth, "You should be careful. That fall could kill you if you didn't land right..."

_Again: what the hell?_

"Then again," he said, "You'd have to be pretty sane to want to die."

Barry frowned in confusion, exclaiming, "That's not helping!"

The costumed hero looked at him, "That's what you wanted right? _To die_."

"Just...go away."

"My rooftop."

Barry glared in return.

Who was this crazy little prick?

"Fuck off," Barry spat, turning back towards the ledge.

"Have you kissed your mother with that mouth?" He snorted.

Barry's fist tightened and his eyes flashed.

He could do it now...

_He could jump_.

"Stop."

He ignored the kid.

"What you're about to do...is a mistake. If you have anyone who loves you-anyone you care about at all: live for them."

Images of Joe and Iris flashed before him.

_It would kill them..._

"I'm not trying to back you into a corner but...whatever pain you are in now...will increase tenfold onto them..."

_Great_.

Now he just felt guilty.

"What are you, some kind of miniature superhero?" Barry asked.

"_Minitu-Yeah_. Yeah, I'm Robin. What's your name?"

He could have rolled his eyes.

Knowing all the tricks in the book.

"I'm gonna do it," Barry snapped.

"Fine," Robin backed away, "Then do it."

The sixteen year old scowled, "Shut up."

"If you're gonna do it then do it."

"You're a sucky superhero, you know that right?"

"Do you want to be saved?"

Barry stared out sadly from the clock tower he was on.

_Did he... _

He didn't know what he was feeling.

It was all packed together in a painful mix.

He just knew the pain had to end.

The small, reasonable side of him left said it would destroy Iris.

Destroy his father.

And Joe...

Maybe Rudy.

_Fuck him!_

Why did Barry have to be so selfless?

Robin appeared next to him, "My parents were killed right in front of me...it's only been a year."

_Holy crap_.

"Vengeance and agony consumed me to the point where...I wasn't heading anywhere good. Until someone saved me. Showed me there was more to do then seek death and revenge. So I sought justice. I went after their killer but...I didn't...kill them. Even if I wanted to. Take whatever you're feeling and help other people. Try and make it into something more. Something good. You're not crazy. You're experiencing something no one should have to go through."

Barry lost it after that.

He started to shake and sob.

He knelt down and cradled his knees.

Wailing into the night.

Robin sat next to him, putting a small gloved hand on his back.

"...Be the hero I know you can be."

"_Y-you don't know m-me,_" Barry cried.

"That's true...but I recognize something in you. A light. It hasn't gone out. So don't let it. You're strong. But strong people feel pain too. Don't just live for yourself...live for your loved ones."

Barry turned and the boy was gone.

He got up on shaky knees, wrapped his coat tighter around his lean frame and headed for the door.

Joe and Iris were probably going crazy looking for him.

_Just say you got lost..._

Before the teen had a chance to leave, he looked back out at the empty rooftop and said, "Thank you."

The door shut.

Robin exhaled in the shadows and closed his masked eyes.

Bruce came up behind him and said, "Good job."

Robin felt the large hand on his shoulder and said, "I never thought I'd have to do that."

"..."

**Next Time...**

**Cisco couldn't make it stop.**

**The laughing.**

**The punches.**

**Why couldn't he save himself?**

**Why were people so hateful?**

**The blows kept on coming.**

**"HEY! Back. Off!"**

**Barry?**


	5. Flash Of Doubt

**Flash A Smile-Flash Of Doubt**

Fransico Ramon walked down the empty hall, back pack slung over his shoulder.

The bell was about to ring any second.

Last week Barry had gotten lost in Gotham City.

After six hours he found his way to the police station with a sprained ankle and seriously bad cold, telling everyone a story of what had happend.

Cisco wasn't so sure if it was true.

The guy had had a strange glint in his eyes that made Cisco very nervous.

_What really happened?_

What wasn't he telling everyone?

Cisco stopped at his locker, about to put in the combination when a giant meaty fist slammed next to him.

The fourteen year old jumped back suddenly surrounded by 5 smelly jocks.

"Cisco..."

He glared upwards, "Tony."

Tony Woodward just responded by flashing him a toothy grin.

Cisco eye balled his chances.

His martial arts teacher had been teaching him to take on one person.

Not five.

Cisco suddenly found himself very alone.

His fists clenched.

_'Let them come...'_

**s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s**

You'd like to think this world has heroes.

You'd like to think that you're one of them.

_A hand wrapped around his throat, shoving him into the top of the lockers_.

That out of all the injustices in this world you would fight against every single one.

That you would be brave and bold.

_Cisco saw stars_.

You could make it with your chances.

_Someone punched him._

Maybe if you were bright.

If you were good.

_He was dropped_.

The bad couldn't catch up with you.

_Legs flew into his stomach._

_Into his head._

That it didn't matter if you were small.

Or smart.

Or dumb.

Or different.

You could be great no matter what.

The bell rang.

No one saved him.

No one said anything.

Fights in this school were normal.

Central City wasn't as nice and innocent as the adults made it out to be.

Cisco tried to fight back.

His temper and courage wouldn't allow him to just take it.

But there's wanting to do something and being physically able.

Insane verbal abuse ensued.

Cisco tried to crawl away.

They grabbed his legs.

He was pulled back.

Stomped on.

Cisco's right eye was completely swollen shut.

_"Hey!"_

They stopped.

Cisco nearly blacked out right then and there.

"Back _off!"_

"_Barry?"_ He faintly slurred.

"What's the matter _Psycho?_ Hate to see us wailin' on your boyfriend?"

He tried to breath.

_It hurt_.

Oxygen exited his lungs in whistles.

He could see a blurry image of Barry Allen standing up to Tony Woodward.

They were almost the same height.

But Barry was scrawny like a tooth pick and Tony was Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Leave. Him. Alone."

Cisco mentally cheered, saying, "You tell 'em Barry!"

"Shut up," one of the bullies holding him smacked his head.

_Ow_...

Blinding pain.

Tony took a step closer to Barry, "Or _what? Huh?_ You gonna kill me like you did mommy?"

_Oh fuck_.

_Not good_.

Surprise flooded the younger teen when Barry actually nodded, "_Yeah_. Now_ back off._"

The crowd that had gathered moved back.

Cisco's eye closed, ready to pass out.

He heard Tony chuckle.

Someone's fist collided with a face.

They hit the ground.

Cisco was startled awake when he was dropped.

_Head head head! Watch the head OW_ jeez...

Tony was on Barry in two seconds flat.

Who punched him in the nose and kneed him in the balls.

The other jocks shuffled at the sidelines, unsure what to do.

They rolled, slamming into the lockers.

Barry faltered after cracking his head against the other boy's...it was obviously made of metal.

Tony took the time to his advantage.

The brunette got a shiner for his trouble.

What was this, head day?

_No no no no no! Don't pass out Barry!_

_Kick his over grown ass!_

"_Hey_! What's going on here? Who started this?"

Oh great the high school principle.

He_ hated_ Barry.

"Yo it was this lunatic! He threatened to kill me!" Tony recovered quickly.

Despite Barry being the one with blood all over his face (and on the ground) Principle Hagan said, "I'm calling the police."

What the fuck, mmaann?

Barry could kick yo ass!

_Creepy old Hagan_...

Cisco's physical condition was a whole other matter, he wanted to squeak (well, who wanted to squeek? He was a man after all) '_call 911_.'

But no one could read his thoughts.

Barry sighed, used to this type of scrutiny, "Make sure to ask for Joe."

Tony and the other jocks left glaring daggers at them both.

"...you okay Cisco?"

"..."

"Hey someone call an ambulance!..._ANYONE!"_

**Next Time...**

**Why was he so fat?**

**He would do anything to ju****st make it go away.**

**Eddie stared at himself miserably in the mirror.**

**He needed to get it off of him.**

**Right then.**

**Right now.**

**Even if he had to claw it off.**


End file.
